Family vacation...

On May 4^th I will be taking my first “NEW” family vacation, I can hardly wait!  So many NEW memories to be made!  It is as if I have waited for this moment my entire lifetime. 

Michael and Cindy are picking me up bright and early, actually let me rephrase that, dark and early, so early it will still be dark outside.  We are driving to Grand Junction, Colorado.  Our intention is to arrive at the airport in Colorado in time to pick up Mary at 4pm on 5/5.  We will pick up Mary, enjoy the evening together and then the actual nature vacation will begin on 5/6.  We are going to state parks in Colorado, Utah and Wyoming together just the four of us.  Mary’s husband is staying home so that we can bond better.  I have yet to meet John, Mary’s husband; I have spoken to him on the telephone.  Mary and John are coming into town in September for one week; I will get to meet John then. 

The four of us will be together until 5/14 when Mary will depart to go back to her home.   Michael, Cindy and I will travel through Nebraska onto Iowa to meet our Mother’s only surviving sister, Viola.  Viola is 85; I am looking so forward to meeting her.  I am hoping Viola can tell me all about Dorothy as a child, as I want to know everything there is to know about my Mother.

We are planning on arriving home on 5/18 or 5/19.  I am hoping the time together goes slowly; I will be taking in and savoring every second of each day.  After all we have a lot of catching up to do.

Other than checking in by telephone to see how my parents are doing I will be completely disconnected from my life at home, I don’t want anything to detract me from my family.  So often I am out and I see families at a table dining and they are all connected to their phone texting others.  When I am with my parents, I am with them 100%.  When I am with my friends I am with them 100%, when I am with my “new” family I will be with them 100%.  I am counting the days, as of today there are 17 more days to go before I leave for my “first”  “NEW” family vacation.  I have been told this will be a yearly adventure.  We are already tossing ideas around for next May.  Can you see my SMILE?

Four tables of eight...

I see my brother Michael and sister-in-law Cindy pretty much every two weeks, we normally get together and have dinner on a Sunday evening and we talk on the telephone usually once a week.  We hook up for a Trivia Night now and then as Michael is a BIG Trivia buff.  When I say BIG Trivia buff, I mean it!  In March Michael and Cindy got together four tables of eight to a table and invited me to meet all of their friends.  I sat at the table with Michael and Cindy and five others and our table won first place, we won $160.00, which means we each got our entrance fee returned to us.  Mainly we ALL had so much fun!  Michael and Cindy told all their friends before the Trivia Night about me.  I was like a celebrity, everyone telling me how Michael and Cindy shared my story with them and how they were touched and so happy for all of us to be united.  Some even became tearful when chatting with me as my story touched their heart that much, which of course made me misty.  I received hugs from everyone there at those four tables of eight and felt sincere kindness and happiness from each of them.   All told me what a wonderful brother I have.  I knew that too from the first time I met Michael.

The Trivia night that we attended was to raise money for a young boy with Autism to get a support dog.  Here is the funny part.  I attended this very same Trivia night the year before for a different young boy with Autism to raise money for a support dog for him.  Michael and Cindy where there with their friends and I was there at a table with my friends.  We were in the same exact room together playing trivia just one year prior.   I had no clue that Michael even existed nor did he know that I existed, yet we were in the same place at the same time.  Gives me chills to think that maybe we passed in the lobby or better yet maybe our tables were near one another. Maybe this was the beginning of the entire journey and I just didn’t know it at the time.

This upcoming Sunday I have been invited to a cook out at Michael and Cindy’s home, with their friends.  I am so looking forward to that.  I love that they have opened their life to me.  I was so concerned that we would meet in October and that would be it, was I ever wrong.    I am so happy to be wrong.

The reunion...

We met at noon on Saturday, October 27, 2012.  We all agreed to meet at Lewis and Clark restaurant which is located on Saint Charles Main Street.  It was a beautiful day filled with sunshine and warmth.  I parked my car by the river front and walked the cobblestone street to the restaurant.  As I mentioned previous I had included two pictures of myself in my letter to Mary.  Mary, Michael and my sister-in-law Cindy all three knew what I looked like, I on the other hand had no idea what they looked like.  As I walked down Main Street towards the restaurant I actually passed the three of them as they were walking towards the restaurant and looking in shop windows.  I had made a reservation in Mary’s married name and told the hostess I was here and waiting for three others.  The hostess asked me if I wanted to sit at the table or wait in the entry way.  I chose to wait in the entry way as I was so nervous.  I sat down, I stood up and repeated, then realizing I could not breathe (nerves) I decided to step outside and get some air.   I opened the door to exit the restaurant and stand outside and as I opened the door there stood Mary, as if I was opening the door for her to enter the restaurant.  However, I had no clue that was Mary my sister on the other side of the door; it had appeared that I was opening the door for Mary to enter.  Mary said “Carol” I looked at her square in the eyes and said “Mary?” Mary said “where are you going?” I said, “I couldn’t breathe and needed some air” Mary said “that’s okay, I can’t breathe either”, we laughed. Being we were blocking the doorway now we all stepped outside to meet and introduce ourselves.  Mary opened her arms to hug me and I hugged her right back.  Mary introduced me to Cindy and we embraced, then Michael, I said to him “and you must be Michael” he smiled from ear to ear and reached out to hug me.  Michael is 6 foot something and when he hugged me I knew I was hugged.  Those hugs that day were the BEST hugs EVER for me!  To be 50 and just meet your siblings for the first time is breathtaking, it is surreal!

We decided to step inside the restaurant and get our table.  The waiter was there immediately and took our drink order, all of us ordering ice-tea with lemon.  Until the drinks came we all just looked at one another smiling, no words exchanged.  The waiter delivered the teas, Mary requested the waiter not to come back to our table for a good hour as we had a lot to discuss.   Mary is definitely the oldest of the three and by that I mean a real “take charge” person.  I too am a “take charge” person, I let Mary steer us in whatever direction she wanted this to take, I didn't care, I was just so happy.

Mary had asked me to fill Michael in on the discovery process and to explain to him why I took so long to search for Dorothy and them.  Both have since told me on many occasions that they wished I would have decided to search sooner, so much time we could have spent together.    

Like I mentioned before Mary is 20 years older than me, which makes her 70 until her next birthday in July.  Michael is 15 years older than me and is 65 until his next birthday in October and Cindy is one year older than me and is soon to be 52.  Mary is married to John and never had children.  Michael is married to Cindy and they never had children, and I am not married and no children. 

We talked and talked and talked, never without words or things to discuss.  We talked of Dorothy of course and how she would love that we were together.  I believe that Dorothy had a hand in this, I don’t know how but I strongly feel she wanted us to meet and be together.

We ordered our lunch and all ate slowly.  My mind started moving forward to our time ending and I felt extreme sadness as I never wanted the day to end.  I also felt anxious as I wanted them to be in my life forever, I didn’t want to force anything, but at the same time I needed some reassurance of their feelings of wanting to be in my life too.  Friday evening I had baked a pumpkin roll for dessert and depending on how the afternoon went I was going to invite them back to my home.  The afternoon at the restaurant went wonderfully so I extended an invitation to them to come back to my home for dessert and coffee.  I also said I would like to show them my baby album.  Mary responded first that she would LOVE to come to my home for dessert and coffee and look at pictures.  It was obvious that no one wanted the day to end.    We decided that Mary would ride in my car with me and Michael and Cindy would follow.  This gave Mary and I time to chat privately as we had spoken several times on the telephone prior to this meeting.  At a stop light I asked Mary “so where do we go from here? Will you and Michael still want to keep in touch with me?”  Mary said “Oh my dear, YES, we are family”. 

When we arrived at my home I started a pot of coffee and served the pumpkin roll with pumpkin ice-cream, everyone commenting that the dessert was heavenly and they would “keep me”.  After the dessert I broke out my baby album.  They quickly saw that I was born a red head and made mention of this saying that all of Dorothy’s siblings and children of the siblings were all born with red hair and that this trait completely confirms that I am her daughter, no doubt.  I mentioned that my hair slowly started turning towards blonde and by the time I was 2 years old I was a toe head. Mary said “yes, that is exactly how it happened with me and Michael too”.   

We spent hours together talking and laughing, exchanging mobile numbers and email addresses and talking of seeing one another again.  We hugged and hugged again, each telling me that they loved me and I too felt the same way about them and shared that with them.  The entire day was heaven sent.  I hated for it to end but it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship with each of them. 

This reunion was beautiful and wonderful but also bittersweet as I so wanted to meet Dorothy.  Dorothy was missing from this joyous reunion.  I know she was there with us in spirit and in her children’s hearts. According to Mary and Michael, Dorothy suffered great sadness after returning home from her “depression”, Dorothy rarely laughed, rarely smiled ever again.  Sad part is no one knew what was wrong; no one knew how to help Dorothy as Dorothy did not share the news of her pregnancy with any family member.

More to come….