Dorothy was 39 years of age when she gave birth to me in 1962. For me the search was simple, I keyed in her full name into a Google search and I quickly saw through the Social Security Death Index that Dorothy was deceased. I had finally made up my mind to search; I had finally gotten the courage I needed to proceed in this journey. The search ended in an instant. Dead. Dorothy died at the age of 58. I did not see that one coming. Dorothy passed away in 1981. In 1981 I was 19 years of age. My Mom gave me my birth certificate when I was 21 years of age. I never had a chance of ever finding Dorothy alive. A friend suggested I look for siblings. “Why?” I said. “Why would Dorothy have other children?” “If she didn’t want me why would she have other children?” I assumed that being Dorothy gave birth to me at the age of 39 I must have been her first and last child…right? After all 39 and pregnant and unwed in 1962, there was no way I would have siblings…right?
As hard as I try I can’t remember what I was doing on September 29, 1981. It was just another day for me. I wonder now that if on that day maybe I felt something when Dorothy died. Did I have a premonition that something I was not conscious of was happening? Maybe I had a twinge of pain or a sudden unexplainable sadness. Maybe I had an uneasy feeling all day long, and having not known my Mother or knew she was dying I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling uneasy. I have tried to figure out where I was on this day, I just can't remember that specific day in my life. I would like to believe that on that day I felt something that I could not explain.
As hard as I try I can’t remember what I was doing on September 29, 1981. It was just another day for me. I wonder now that if on that day maybe I felt something when Dorothy died. Did I have a premonition that something I was not conscious of was happening? Maybe I had a twinge of pain or a sudden unexplainable sadness. Maybe I had an uneasy feeling all day long, and having not known my Mother or knew she was dying I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling uneasy. I have tried to figure out where I was on this day, I just can't remember that specific day in my life. I would like to believe that on that day I felt something that I could not explain.
