Thursday, March 7, 2013

I have a name....

Fast forward to Spring of 1983, I had turned 21 years of age that winter.  My Mom and I spent the day together running some errands, shopping and lunch.  During one of the errands my Mom wanted to run into a store, told me to stay in the car and while I was waiting for her return to read the papers she handed to me.  It was my a copy of a birth certificate.  The birth certificate had my date of birth on it but had a different name, Anna Christine.  Showed a name of the Mother as Dorothy and a last name.  Father: unknown.  I quickly realized this was MY birth certificate.  I was completely blown away as I had no idea I had a different name at one time.  I also had never knew my Mother’s name and address before.  I never knew my Mother’s age before and I had no clue my Father was unknown.  This “Mother” never had a name to me before.  Putting a name to her image in my mind made her real.  Me having a different name than what I now go by (Carol) was surreal.  I never knew “this woman”, Dorothy, who took the time to name me and to have me baptized.  What did this mean? Did this mean she loved me?  I had always assumed she did not love me, she did not want me and therefore she would never have named me.  My natural Mother had named me and a beautiful name it was.  In my mind my natural Mother was a silhouette of a woman, a nameless woman without a face.  Now my natural Mother has a name and an age and now when I think of her and wonder I can call her Dorothy.  She is real now and I have so many questions.

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