Thursday, March 21, 2013

No birth announcements....

I can only assume that on the actual day I was born that my Mother Dorothy was in the delivery room along with the doctor and nurses.  I assume it was a normal delivery, not a C-section.  I can only assume these things as I have no one to ask.  Was Dorothy happy to give birth to me? Happy in that was she happy the ordeal was over and she could return home to her family? Or was Dorothy sad that once she gave birth she would have limited time to spend with me before placing me for adoption?  I do know that no one was waiting for me to be born that day.  There was no one waiting in the waiting room.  There were no cheers or announcements.  I do know that Dorothy signed the adoption paperwork on 2/9/62 –so from 1/21/62 until 2/9/62 there were 19 days that I was in the hospital and so was Dorothy.  Did she spend time with me?  I have checked with Catholic Charities and there is nothing in my file (so they say) that says anything about Dorothy spending any time with me.  I was told that in those days there were some who believed that if the Mother spent time with the infant that the Mother would change her mind about adoption.  I believe in my heart that Dorothy held me.  I would like to believe that she held me for 19 days, counted my fingers and toes and fed me, loved on me and cried on me.  Dorothy carried me in her womb for nine months, during that time she talked, laughed and cried.  I had to bond with that voice, her smell.  I had to wonder after my birth “where did she go”.  I have tried to remember her voice and it can’t be done.  I believe that a newborn would mourn the loss of the Mother who gave life if she was no longer there.  There had to be some connection between Mother and child and once that connection was broken the infant had to feel a loss of some kind.  We know that the Mother feels a loss, in most cases the remainder of her life.    I also know that I was adopted on 3/7/62 – from 2/9/62 until 3/7/62 Catholic Charities has no record of where I was, only that I was in the Foster Care system.  This bothers me.  I know everything turns out well, but “where was I?”  Isn’t that odd that no one knows?

3 comments:

  1. So really from birth to adoption there is no actual record of who you were with. You know I don't know if that was odd or not. I am sorry.

    Do you know who the dad was?

    Sandie

    ReplyDelete
  2. God Has a Special Purpose for your life -
    I know you are a major blessing to the world - and all of this helped you become the gift of God you are.

    love & love,
    -g-

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well in a way, God was watching you all those days. It's a shame that you don't know the true going's on your first month and half of life. Did your parents fill out a baby book on all your first year accomplishments...when you first talked and walked and rolled over? I was the first born and my baby book is filled out a lot more fully than my siblings. I love that I have that book and have read it many times. It's the first few years of life we don't have conscious recollection of things we did. It's nice if you can get that information from your parents if they recorded it.

    ReplyDelete